I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
