I will die if light touches me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
