i jhust puked up my retainher.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
