he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
