i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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