You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
