Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
