did you get engaged???
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
