It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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