i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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