whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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