I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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