If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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