I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
