JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
