I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize