wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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