You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize