me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
