Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
