you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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