I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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