why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
