Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just googled if crying burns calories
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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