All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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