I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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