The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
