dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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