my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
