Porn is love you can see.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.