I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel