Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize