my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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