I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
