well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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