He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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