you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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