Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Blood and glitter go together right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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