I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize