Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
