So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
