I wanna bring you to show and tell
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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