FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
