so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
