considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
