shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
