I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
