we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
