just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
