i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
