IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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