just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
