After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
