remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
