it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
bring money and cleavage
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
