Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
