i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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