That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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