Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
