It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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