So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Actions speak louder than pants.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
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That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
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Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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