it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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